Let's Hear it For Crying Out Loud!

I said I'd keep people updated on this and so here we go...it's actually not as bad as I had anticipated.  

Well, last night I pretty much caved and stayed in the room again.  He cried when I laid him down awake and so I patted his back and then he got all giddy and started rolling around, cooing, playing with his blanket.  He even stood up and held on to the side of the packnplay, grinning.  This was not the idea I wanted him to get--just us chickens hangin out in the dark for fun.  So I laid down on the bed which happens to be 6 inches from his packnplay.  Then he started crying again, assuming correctly that if I were asleep, I am not so much available to him.  So I sat up.  I helped him lay down and I guess that little bit of crying got him tuckered and he seemed content to let me rub his back and as soon as I started singing (duh!  He's used to going to sleep to the sound of my voice!) he was out.  So not so bad, but not really going to sleep on his own, either.  

Then today he fell asleep again in the car around naptime and stayed asleep as I carried him in to his bed.  

But, tonight, Hallelujah, was the real deal!  I hated it and dreaded it and probably dragged out our pre-bedtime routine longer than even Anderson wanted.  It was already a late night cause we had company til almost 7 and then did the "Baaa"  (Bath).  Then we had book reading on the couch w/ sippy cup of milk and mommy and daddy.  Then we had final book reading on my lap w/ blanket and bear.  Then we had a couple of songs.  And on song #2 he started closing his eyes and leaning back his head, so I pretty much had to take him in to his bed then.  I laid him down.  He knew what was up and was definitely not down.  Like not down with being laid down not asleep.  I talked to him in a normal voice and said basketball coach sounding things like, "I know you can do this!"  and some mommy things, too.  And I returned a second time w/ the Jesus Loves Me bunny (which I'm afraid was a grand mistake and will be the culprit in waking him in the middle of the night if I don't go fish it out of the packnplay before he accidentally lays on it) and he fell down and snuggled his blanket as soon as I was in there, as if to say, "Good!  You're here!  I can go to sleep now!" but alas, I had to turn around and walk right back out.  And he cried.  I sat in the rocking chair and began asking Jesse if he sounded sad or mad to him.  I was sure it was sad.  Jesse said he thought it was confused and he'd get that that's just what we did now, eventually.  Before our conversation was up, he had stopped crying.  I know it was no more than five minutes, if that.  So all that to say, I'm still dreading doing it again tomorrow due to the ambiguous nature of baby emotions and whether I'm hurting his feelings or not being the question, but we will do it because he seems to be spending a lot less time with those hurt feelings and is deciding just to go to sleep anyway pretty quickly.  And I just really trust the other moms I know who've done this and that they love their kids completely.  Also, I trust the other moms who refuse to do this and that they love their kids completely as well.  I'm kind of a fence rider here, if you haven't noticed.  Mostly, I'm just trying to make it easier on the four of us since there will be four of us very, very soon.